A book on the horrors of drug addiction could easily be written about Bobbie Jo’s life. At the early age of ten, she had her first taste of alcohol. “I remember adding vodka to my grape juice in my little Tasmanian Devil cup.” Not long after, at age thirteen, a friend introduced her to speed. The powder in a baggie set her on a path to ruin.
Having been abandoned by her Mom, considered the ‘Black Sheep’ at her father’s house, and under the influence of speed, Bobbie Jo began running away. “If I didn’t like something, I would just leave,” she remembers. This would set a pattern she would repeat throughout her life. At age fourteen, Bobbie Jo was arrested for fighting. She started snorting speed, and drinking became a problem. Despite trying to hide her addiction, Bobbie Jo said, “I felt rotten, like a garbage can.”
Bobbie Jo became pregnant with her first son, and six months after his birth, her mother died. Her addiction to speed escalated, and her relationship with her child’s father was toxic and rife with domestic violence. Bobbie Jo had two more children and had tried unsuccessfully to leave the abusive relationship. It was not until she was stabbed in the arm and cut on the neck in front of her children, Bobbie Jo took her children to a domestic violence shelter in Big Bear and found some refuge in classes on dysfunctional families and therapy. She was hesitant to testify against her husband but realized she had no choice when they informed her that he was going to be released.
No longer using drugs but still drinking, Bobbie Jo finally got her first apartment at age 26. Sadly, she was soon reintroduced to speed by a co-worker. Her apartment became the scene of many parties, and she was also dealing drugs. Her neighbors consistently complained, and the police visited regularly. “I had an inheritance of $56,000, which I blew through in six months. I used some of that money to send my kids to my ex-husband’s sister in Mexico for a short vacation. As the result of a family member’s dishonesty, my children were trapped there for ten months,” Bobbie Jo remembers. “I wanted to clean myself up before they came back.” Instead, Bobbie Jo’s drug use escalated as she tried to get her kids back. She lost her apartment and became homeless.” I stopped talking to my kids. It was too hard,” she says. “I was doing ecstasy and whatever drugs I could get; I had no one for support.”
Bobbie Jo ended up moving in with a man she met. At that time, her sister was trying to facilitate Bobbie Jo’s children’s move back from deep in Mexico. She was eventually successful. However, Bobbie Jo’s outstanding warrants caught up with her in an ironic way. “I woke up one morning to deputies and guns,” she says. “I was arrested on Mother’s Day, and I didn’t even realize it.” A further irony was that she was being arrested at the moment her kids were coming back to the U.S. It was bittersweet.
Bobbie Jo’s life patterns kept repeating, and she met another man and became pregnant. The ironic timing was repeated as well. “I was then arrested on a warrant in San Bernardino.” The man she was dating was now taking care of her three children. “I used to tell men that I was damaged goods,” she exclaims. “When I was in jail, I found out I was pregnant again.” This situation spiraled down as her boyfriend was arrested for stealing cars. Out of jail with no place to go, Bobbie Jo and her children moved from motel to shelter to motel. When her boyfriend was released, they managed to find an affordable apartment. She had her baby and isolated herself. “I was trying to stay sober,” Bobbie Jo says.
With her fourth child just four months old, Bobbie Jo relapsed again. Not surprisingly, there were domestic violence issues again. “He went back to jail, and I lost the apartment. It was then I realized that I had a problem with speed and needed help,” Bobbie Jo admits.
Still using drugs and bouncing from friend to friend, her sister had given up on Bobbie Jo. While at a shelter in Skid Row, someone called the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS). Her three oldest children were at her sister’s, and her baby was with her at a shelter. DCFS approached Bobbie Jo and her baby daughter and realized the obvious; Bobbie Jo was under the influence of drugs. They took custody of her baby and all three of her children living with her sister. Bobbie Jo’s children were separated and placed in homes in Corona, Lancaster, Granada Hills, and West L.A. Bobbie Jo made the commitment to become sober and drug-free on June 13, 2014. “That’s the moment I changed,” Bobbie Jo says. “I was hanging out on San Pedro Street in Skid Row, crying.”
Knowing the only direction left to go was up, Bobbie Jo found a 12-step program and began working the program at Mini-House to achieve complete sobriety. By September, having stayed drug and alcohol-free and employed, she was awarded custody of her baby daughter by the judge. “I didn’t want my baby to affect my program, so I found a daycare for her. She was comfortable there from the first time I took her,” Bobbie Jo says. “I was six months inpatient before going into sober living. That was the process.”
Through her 12-step work at Mini-House, Bobbie Jo encountered Rebecca, her ‘sobriety sister.’ Rebecca was in HomeLight Family Living, a program offered by The Midnight Mission to families transitioning out of homelessness. “My 12-step sponsor requested a referral, and my DCFS worker was very helpful,” Bobbie Jo remembers. “It was hard for me. I had never had all four of my kids while sober. I remember moving in on October 15, and my youngest daughter saw the playground and was so excited. It felt normal like it was my home.”
Safe, secure, and sober in The Midnight Mission’s HomeLight Family Living Program, Bobbie Jo was able to get a job to support her four children. She learned how to be a good mother to her two sons and two daughters, who ranged in age from five to eighteen years at that time. She was able to attend meetings and work with her sponsor. She was finally able to become a fully functional member of society.
After leaving HomeLight, Bobbie Jo worked to help people on general release find employment. She helped them develop and write resumes. Bobbie Jo also assisted them in a job search. She loved her job helping people, but she needed a higher paying job to ensure she would not return to homelessness.
Because she completed the job-readiness program herself, Bobbie Jo was given new opportunities. She was accepted into a paid internship with the LA Medical Coroner’s office as a property custodian. Anytime anyone is brought into the coroner’s office, their property is picked up and inventoried. Bobbie Jo witnesses the inventory and then creates a letter for the next of kin to release the items to their care. The most satisfying part of her job is helping those who have lost a loved one through this process. She has found being helpful in a tough time gives families comfort.
The internship at the LA County Coroner’s office is for two years. Upon completion, Bobbie Jo hopes to have a permanent position with the county. For the first time in her life, she has a job with medical insurance and a 401K. These benefits are beyond what Bobbie Jo imagined for her life. To get a permanent position would enable her to buy her own home for her family.
In addition to work, Bobbie Jo continues to better herself. She is studying to complete her GED. She also continues to work a 12-step program to grow spiritually. While striving toward these goals, Bobbie Jo was presented with an opportunity to be of service to her father. When her Dad had health complications, Bobbie Jo decided to have him move into her apartment.
Bobbie Jo said she sometimes wakes up and thinks she must be dreaming because her life is so great today. It is better than she could have ever imagined, and she can’t wait to see what the next chapters bring. She knows if she does the footwork and leaves the results up to God, everything will be wonderful.
“I am forever grateful to The Midnight Mission for programs like this. I was given a chance when I really needed it.”
For more information on HomeLight Family Living, visit www.midnightmission.org/homelight.
